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Photo credit: blog.islamawareness.net
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Hindu and Muslim are two buzzwords in our society whose echoes can be heard equally in the houses of both the communities. Both wish to remain in segregation. Some households don't promote any interaction between the two while others are neither hostile nor friendly. With very few exceptions, it is not very casual to carry out relationship with a Muslim friend than you may with a friend of any other religion.
My first encounter with this division happened when I was eight years old. We had a business of semi-precious stones for which we had employed stone cutters who used to work under a shed, on our terrace. After my school, it was my daily routine to go to the terrace and gaze at their work. The manner in which work is done on a stone cutting machine has the potential to attract any child. I used to stand there for long and look at them performing their work. Soon, I started interacting with them. Beginning from the names, our colloquy used to hover around my friends and what I was taught in the school. After few days of amusing chatter, I gathered that they knew 'Urdu' and it was written in a peculiar yet engrossing style. With a desire to learn it, I asked them to teach me. Then, everyday after my school, they used to teach me how to write Urdu and that used to be recreation for me.
One day, when I got down from the terrace after the Urdu session, my mother asked me what takes me so long everyday on the terrace? I told her about learning Urdu, expecting that it will make her happy but she looked annoyed. In fact, she asked me not to go up and talk to the workers. Her tone did not permit me to argue even once and I had to abruptly terminate the interaction. Few days later, I remember, my father took me to the terrace to commune with the workers but the same old feeling of running towards the terrace freely and learning Urdu was lost somewhere.
Nine months back, when I came to Delhi for my Post graduation, on the first day of the class, I noticed a girl in a spaghetti top and long skirt who was sitting on the first bench. The colour of the spaghetti and skirt was a total mismatch and I guess that was the reason, why I took a note of her. During the class, she looked back with a broad smile on her face at least 10 times. I think it is a fact that when you continuously look at a person, he/she just gets to know about it. After the class was over, she came to my seat and the conversation began. We acquainted that we were living in the same hostel. She was engaging but it was too early for me to conclude her as a close friend. The next step that happens in any friendship happened here also, that is, friend request on Facebook. In the evening, when I checked my facebook account, I saw her friend request. Her name on facebook was unique, 'Alina Alina' the request read. After that, I started calling her 'Alina Alina.'
The next day, we sat together in the class and I asked her why her name is 'Alina Alina' on facebook and not simply, Alina. She said that facebook did not accept her surname and that's why she had no option other than to reiterate her first name. It was quite unusual and surprising reason, so I asked her surname. She said, "I am Alina Zulfiqar, a Muslim." I asked her, Is it really so that facebook didn't accept her surname or is that a way to hide her identity as a Muslim. She said that when people ask her name, she tells them only Alina as it sounds like a Christian name and many believes that she is a Christian, not a Muslim.
The other day, while I was watching TV in the common room of the hostel, she came there and offered me some home made stuff to eat but I refused. There was no discriminatory intention behind the act but when she said that I refused eating her stuff like others do because she is a Muslim, I realized that actually some sort of unconscious discrimination against Muslims is hidden inside me. That same moment, I took the hand made cookies from her and ate them. Our bond got strengthened after that. We used to stay together - in class and after class. She used to teach me how to write my name in Urdu and take my opinion for shortlisting her long list of possible bridegrooms. We had common interests and watching 'Zindagi' channel was one among them. Zindagi always attracted me because of the passionate use of Urdu in its serials. The pride that the Pakistani actors take while delivering the dialouges in Urdu is something that I miss in the Hindi channels. There was nothing to hide in our relationship. As journalists, we used to discuss the Muslim rituals like Polygamy, marriage with the cousins, restrictions on women, beef ban, etc and her stand on these issues was the same as mine.
Mostly, it used to happen that her phone remained in my hands and mine in hers. Once, while her phone was with me, I was going through her contact list. Their addressing of the father, mother and other relatives is different from ours. I saw contacts like 'Abbu ji Clinic', 'Aapa', 'Baaji', and many more in her list. Most of the names had Pakistan as suffix in them, one among them read 'Anam Pakistan'. I could not resist and asked her about it. She said that most of her relatives live in Pakistan as they were not able to come to India during Partition. She added, she didn't want to marry a boy which her family is persuading, as then she will have to shift to Pakistan. There is a lot of restrictions on women there and she likes to live here in India, she said. In the end, she said not everyone living in Pakistan is a terrorist and I was really ashamed of asking this from her. I mean, at the first place, why she needs to justify her connections in Pakistan to anyone. She was not offended and that left a huge impact on my heart.
She is the most craziest and happiest girl I have ever come across. Among all the Muslim girls I have seen or was exposed to, she is totally different. Her family has allowed her to pursue education in Delhi. She is the first girl of her family who has step out of the hometown, Bijnor. In her family, there are three sisters who are younger to her and she has the responsibility to set a good example for them. So, she tries to stay away from any kind of bad habit and at the same time enjoys every moment of her life. She relishes the home made stuff I take for her. Her feeling for everyone is utterly genuine. She is a great cook and often cooks omelette for me. I was a vegetarian but could not resist the delicious omelette made by her for too long. For me, she is a very special friend and I respect her a lot. Because of her, I was able to break the stereotype inside me that some where discriminated against Muslims. She has changed my perception of looking at people through the lens of religion.
Islam is a religion just like many others in the world. If its rituals are completely opposite to ours, then it does not, at all, mean that we should be hostile towards it. One must respect the differences instead of criticizing and judging them.
